October Sit with Me
Finding Your Red Bench in October
Sit with me for a few minutes. I want to talk about October.
If you’ve spent any time working in a school, you know October can be one of the year's most difficult months. I call it Shock-tober!
The excitement of the first day of school has worn off, the routines that looked so good on paper in August are being tested, and the challenges of leading a school are starting to pile up. Teachers are tired, students are testing boundaries, parents have concerns, and the calendar offers little relief. Before you know it, you’re spending more time reacting to what’s happening around you than focusing on what matters most.
I’ve been there. I remember those October days when I would get to school early, already thinking about everything I needed to accomplish, only to have my entire day change before the first bell. A teacher needed support, a parent wanted to meet, a student made a poor decision, or something happened that nobody could have anticipated. By the time I got home, I was physically and mentally exhausted, but my mind was still at school.
Looking back, I wish I had spent more time sitting on my red bench.
That’s why I want to invite you to sit with me today. Not because we have all the answers, but because sometimes we need to get away from the noise long enough to remember what’s important.
For me, that starts with three things: faith, family, and fitness.
My faith reminds me that I don’t have to carry everything by myself. There will be situations I can’t fix, people I can’t please, and outcomes I can’t control. Spending time in prayer helps me remember that I’m not supposed to have all the answers. Sometimes I just need to trust God and keep moving forward.
Family reminds me why I’m doing all of this in the first place. One mistake I made as a principal was letting the problems of the school day follow me home. I might have been sitting at the dinner table, but my mind was somewhere else. Our families deserve more than what’s left of us at the end of a difficult day. They deserve our attention, our energy, and our presence.
And then there’s fitness. If you’ve followed me for any length of time, you know how much I believe in getting up and moving. Running has taught me lessons that I never learned in a leadership textbook. Some mornings I feel great, and other mornings every step seems difficult. But I always feel better when I’m finished. Those miles give me time to think, pray, and work through whatever is bothering me.
Running has also taught me that the little things can become big things if we let them.
Have you ever been running and felt a small pebble in your shoe? At first, you try to ignore it. You convince yourself that it’s not a big deal and that you can finish your run without stopping. But with every step, that little pebble becomes more uncomfortable. Eventually, it’s all you can think about.
Leadership can be the same way.
Maybe it’s a comment someone made at a faculty meeting, an email from a parent, a disagreement with a colleague, or a decision that didn’t go the way you hoped. None of these things may seem significant at first, but when we carry them around long enough, they begin to affect how we lead and how we treat the people around us.
Don’t let a pebble become a boulder.
When I’m running and a pebble starts bothering me, I stop, take off my shoe, shake it out, and get back to running. I don’t carry it for another three miles just to prove I can. Why should we do that in our personal or professional lives?
I also want to challenge you to look around your school this October. While you’re dealing with your own challenges, someone down the hallway may be struggling even more. Maybe it’s a first-year teacher who’s overwhelmed, a veteran teacher who’s quietly exhausted, a student who’s having a difficult time at home, or a colleague who simply needs someone to listen.
See the people.
Sometimes the most important thing we can do as leaders isn’t to solve another problem or check another item off our list. It’s pulling up a chair, asking someone how they’re doing, and taking the time to listen.
October is difficult. I’m not going to pretend otherwise. But we still have a lot of school year ahead of us, and how we take care of ourselves and each other right now matters.
So sometime this week, find your red bench. Spend a little time in prayer. Call someone you love. Go for a walk or a run. Check on someone who might need you. And if you’ve been carrying around a few pebbles, take the time to get them out of your shoes.
You have too much good work left to do to let the little things keep you from moving forward.
I’ll save you a seat on the red bench.
1 Peter 5:7 — “Leave all your worries with him, because he cares for you.”
A question to take to your red bench: What pebble have you been carrying that you need to shake out of your shoe, and who around you might need someone to sit with them this week?
Let’s go!
Todd M. Bloomer
Author of Finding Your Red Bench — A Month-by-Month Blueprint for School Leaders
If you are interested in purchasing my book. Click here for Amazon.